Why do wizards clean their teeth three times a day? To prevent bat breath!
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.
Where does Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies.
How does a dyslexic poet write? Inverse.
No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.
Why didn’t the orange win the race? It ran out of juice.
How do locomotives know where they're going? Lots of training
A girl once asked me what my heart desired, apparently blood, oxygen and neural messages were all wrong answers