I was at the library and asked if they have any books on "paranoia", the librarian replied, "yes, they are right behind you"
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.
No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.
“Doctor, I’ve broken my arm in several places” Doctor “Well don’t go to those places.”
Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work.
I tried to milk a cow today, but was unsuccessful. Udder failure.
What do you call an Argentinian with a rubber toe? Roberto
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach? Because they might peel!
A Skeleton walked into a bar he said I need a beer and a mop
At the boxing match, the dad got into the popcorn line and the line for hot dogs, but he wanted to stay out of the punchline.